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A Beautiful Poem by Suicide Survivor
Rebecca Fitzsimmons Vaughn:
I Had a Brother

Rebecca Fitzsimmons Vaughn lost her brother, Matthew Fitzsimmons, to suicide on November 14, 2007.

Rebecca has written a moving poem in honor of Matthew. A poem that comes from the heart…the heart of a GREAT sister. A poem that reflects how special Matthew was, and how special he still is. A poem that reaches up to Heaven and gently takes Matthew’s hand and whispers: “I love you. You will always be my brother.”

To Rebecca, Amanda, and the entire Fitzsimmons family, I am very sorry for your loss.

Matthew is now one of the greatest angels in Heaven.

God bless you.

I love you,

Kevin Caruso

I Had a Brother

I Had a Brother

by Rebecca Fitzsimmons Vaughn

I had a brother whom I loved very much. He was my only brother and I admired him in many ways.

I had a brother who enjoyed music, playing cards, being with friends and his family. He was tall, handsome, and very intelligent.

I had a brother who cared about others, who tried very hard to please them.

I had a brother who worked tremendously hard to move quickly up the ‘corporate ladder.’ He strived to complete each task to perfection. Those who worked with him raved about his high performance.

I had a brother who admired his father greatly. My brother became an accountant like my dad. My brother bought furniture and oriental rugs that were similar to my dad’s style.

I had a brother who carried a lot on his young shoulders.

I had a brother who had a big heart.

I had a brother who was never satisfied with what he had accomplished. He was not satisfied with many areas in his life.

I had a brother who secretly suffered from unbearable depression that worsened with lack of sleep and heightened stress.

I had a brother who once wrote the following to me one New Year’s Day a few years ago: “Have you made any resolutions for this year? I made one. I want to be a better person.”

I had a brother who wanted to ‘be better’ all by himself but didn’t realize that he wasn’t going to be able to do it alone. He needed his WHOLE family, not just his wife whom he last told: “I need you. Meet me at home for lunch.”

Yes, I had a brother. His name is Matt. He’ll always be my brother, my only brother.

I wasn’t as close to him as I should have been. I didn’t call him often and I choose not to get in the middle of his problems, some of which became apparent to me during a visit to his home.

The truth is I didn’t know. The problem is that I didn’t know. I pray that he will forgive me.

I’m forever sorry, dear Matt. I’m forever sorry. I didn’t realize how much you were suffering, how life was becoming too much to deal with.

Yes, I had a brother and I will never forget him.

With love that I wish I had expressed a very long time ago.

If you or someone you know is suicidal, please go to the Home Page of this website for immediate help.

Thank you.

I love you.

Take care,

Kevin Caruso

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